Monday, May 12, 2008
ECLIPSE AVIATION ANNOUNCES INNOVATIVE NON-DISCLOSURE AGREEMENT
Albuquerque, NM – May 12, 2008 – Eclipse Aviation today rolled out a new weapon in the battle to popularize its product. Reacting to negative publicity and possible unauthorized release of trade secrets, the company has broken new legal ground.
President Vern Raburn commented, “Everyone connected with our Eclipse 500 Jet is required to sign a non-disclosure agreement (NDA) - this includes investors, employees, suppliers and customers. However, the old-fashioned NDA had its limitations and we were not satisfied with the protection we received.”
“Disruptive technology has been the byword at Eclipse and we are proud to advance to the legal profession in a most creative manner,” Raburn continued. “I was looking at the NDA and thought – why do we need two signatures, mine and the other party? We can streamline the whole process and achieve better coverage if I alone sign them. “
The company has patented the Eclipse Non-Disclosure Agreement (ENDA) – the first unilateral agreement of its type. “This is the nuclear hand grenade of NDAs,” said Raburn. “Now I scan the news and internet blogs. If I see something I don’t like, I sign an ENDA… and the offending party is toast. This is the legal equivalent of synthetic vision; I put on my special goggles and I see what you are thinking and doing.”
“Our expert legal team determined this new concept covered most of the world. However, they pointed out that several hundred million people in the Indian Subcontinent and Sub-Saharan Africa might not be fully bound to the new Eclipse Aviation terms.”
“Our lawyers drew on the time-tested Napoleonic Code to produce an astounding new legal concept and a fool-proof document. The Eclipse Non-Enumerative Mass Agreement (ENEMA) is the first unilateral NDA to cover the entire planet. Hey, you out there! If you say something nasty about Eclipse, you can run, but you can’t hide.”
Raburn concluded, “Once they realize its features, we believe other companies will want to use the ENEMA too. We are prepared to license this disruptive legal technology for a modest fee.”
Well done, as usual, Black Tulip. For those of you not familiar with our history, please check here for previous examples of his excellent work. The tulip mania peaked in the Netherlands during the 1630s. The black tulip was the most sought after, until found to be biologically impossible.